My eyes are open.



Now that i'm reaching the end of the week, i find that this line of disappointments have a cause and resolve themselves beautifully. this week has just been.. a complete emotional stress.

i guess it started yesterday when we got our PEAKS profiles. i was hell unhappy with the truth about myself. especially with this little god damned section called SUSTAINABILITY. i thought i was tougher in the head; well balanced emotionally and able to handle problems. how wrong i was. i have a 38. which means i'm quite bloody volatile. concerned and worried, easily angered, easily discouraged and vulnerable to stress. so i kinda felt really lousy from then. cos all my stats were pretty low and i was actually pretty emotionally weak.



also, there was a lot about this thing with valentines day and all that. so after math, i flew right back home to get my rose to the next stage of its.. journey. and made it back for study time where i did the bulk of the biolab report. and frisbee yesterday really helped me feel better after all the bullshit from the whole of wednesday. we played a nice fat game and nithin injured my eye and broke my specs. oh well haha! so i'm wearing my spares now.



so i woke up at 550am today to have an early morning walk and to try and call someone who was sleeping. ended up going to church and back to school to eat early early breakfast. i was back in my room by 630 and left for school at 720. but i enjoyed it. a nice quiet walk.

all through the emotional trials of these two days, what really caught me was how the scripture reading for these two nights really really really played a part in how my day went. now i regret not living them out during the course of the day. even talking to mr valles just now hinted to the same ideas. yeah. its been two pissed days. and let me tell you something. if you say prayer doesnt help when youre faced with a trial, thats bullshit. things may not turn out perfectly well, but you will NOT walk the path alone. and you'll know it.


well, one more good thing happened tonight. best thing in the last four months really. got on the phone with gretch and trashed out all our doubts and confusions. so, heres to gretchen lee. my neighbour and very meaningful friend.

Thanks for being there and being open so that we can understand each other and thanks for helping me see things about myself which i can dangerously overlook. like emoness! have fun with whats left of that poor rose yeah (:

posted by halfpastfour- at 11:34 PM [edit]